Episode 038: How to Keep it Sexy in a Long Term Relationship
Esther Perel’s 4 Things to Foster Erotic Desire
Elle and Vee dive into the work of Esther Perel, a relationship expert, on relationship dynamics, how to keep things sexy and how to foster erotic desire:
When your partner is in their element and confident.
Surprise.
Seeing your partner though the eyes of another.
Longing and absence.
Who is Esther Perel and what is she about? (0:38)
When you ‘have’ something it takes away the wanting, and how the lifestyle helps with this. (2:47)
When do you feel most drawn to your partner? (6:46)
Desire requires focusing on your own pleasure. (9:15)
The balance of neediness in a relationship. (10:24)
In relationships, certain behaviors bring out contrasting behaviors in the other. (11:51)
Two types of people in a relationship: one with the fear of losing the other and one with the fear of losing themselves. (13:50)
Relationship dynamics develop around security and freedom and also self reliance and interdependence. (16:19)
How the lifestyle supports admiration and surprise. (20:30)
When you see your partner through the eyes of someone else. (23:54)
How absence and longing helps with desire yet sometimes has a paradoxical effect in the lifestyle group of friends. (25:15)
Sameness kills desire: Elle and Vee share how they keep it spicy. (29:05)
Forget 1-on-1 First Dates: Try this alternative first date scenario and learn why! (33:32)
PSA: We’re taking a break next week! See you in October!
